


The Beat of Your Heart

by Liveforthestars



Category: Criminal Minds (US TV)
Genre: F/M, I am not a doctor, Whump, and writing this at 9 am, i am also trying, i am my target audience
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-26
Updated: 2020-12-26
Packaged: 2021-03-11 05:01:53
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,676
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28339656
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Liveforthestars/pseuds/Liveforthestars
Summary: Aaron Hotchner could not believe it. His second wife Emily Prentiss is divorcing him. He is heartbroken beyond belief and struggling to pick up the pieces. Will he discover the real reason his wife left him before it's too late? *DISCLAMIAR I AM NOT A DOCTOR*
Relationships: Aaron Hotchner/Emily Prentiss
Comments: 2
Kudos: 15





	The Beat of Your Heart

**Author's Note:**

> hi guys this is my first criminal minds work and I hope you enjoy it like I said I am not a doctor I just did (very) a little research so please don't go taking the things I say seriously! i hope everyone has a great day :)

_December 4th, 2010_

Aaron Hotchner was broken. That was his only thought as he picked up the bottle of scotch to take another swig. This was all he had been doing since he received _those._ He couldn't believe his luck. Not one, but two women have wanted to divorce him. He laughed when he realized he just needed one more wife and he would be the next David Rossi. He wanted to call her so bad. His finger found itself hovering over her name many times throughout the night. He wanted to scream at her, tell her he hated her, demand for the reason behind those damned papers that he should have seen coming, but most of all he wanted to say _"I love you, Emily please come back to me."_ He didn't want to be any weaker than he already was, so it wasn't her name he touched. He called the man who was his closest friend, and the man in one more ex-wife Aaron would become.

"Aaron, what the hell it's 3am?"

Aaron mentally cursed himself, he didn't want to piss off his closest friend and lose yet another person he cares about. "She finally did it Dave, guess she decided Emily Prentiss sounded better than Emily Hotchner," he said with a slight slur to his words.

Dave couldn't believe what he heard. Emily was divorcing Hotch? He knew that they were having problems, she was being more quiet than usual and he was getting frustrated that she was closing herself off, but he would never imagine they would get divorced. Dave replied after gathering his thoughts, "I'll be right there." He heard Aaron let out a sigh of relief and a thanks before hanging up. Walking to the car he thought about the reasons she possibly would've prompted for a divorce. He knew Emily loved him far too much to ever cheat on him, so he knew that she must trying to be protecting him in some way. Dave sighed hoping this wasn't another Doyle like situation. He thought about the time when they reveled that they were together to the team.

_Flashback_

_It was a few months after JJ's wedding and the whole team was ecstatic to learn that Emily was staying and turned down the job London. Honestly, Dave thought she was crazy for turning the job down and knew that there were some other motives to staying. He had his suspicions, but it wasn't until a particular brutal case that he had his suspicions confirmed._

_With the new knowledge of Emily's ability to do good undercover work it was now often put to use. This unsub was targeting women in their mid to late 30s with dark brown hair, and torturing them to death before killing them. They discovered the identity of the Unsub and, based off the profile knew the best way to bring him in peacefully was to have Emily cause a distraction._

_Emily played the part well, she got his attention immediately. She was talking to the Unsub at the bar while the team was slowly trying to evacuate the civilians without causing a scene. Then, the next thing they know they hear a sharp intake of breath through their ear pieces. Dave looked over his shoulder and saw that the guy had stabbed Emily right in the shoulder, and was trying to lead her out of the bar in he weakened state. Dave signaled to Morgan and they both pulled out their guns. He released Emily and she fell to the floor, and he could hear Hotch in his ear wanting to know what was happening. Dave didn't answer him, and despite wanting to check on Emily he knew that he had to keep his gun trained on the Unsub. Finally Derek had his handcuffs on the Unsub's wrists and he could lower his gun and check on Emily. She seemed to be doing okay, but needed a medic to stop the bleeding. He called for a medic and as soon as he did Hotch came bursting out of the security van into the now cleared out bar. Dave saw his eyes widen at the sight of Emily on the floor and rushed to her._

_"Em, sweetheart hang on honey hang on you're gonna be okay."  
_

_"No shit sherlock, it's just a shallow wound to the shoulder help me up you big mother hen," Emily said in a slightly strained voice which caused Hotch to let out a relieved chuckle._

_The doctors at the ambulance said that while she was going to be okay, she did need to go to the hospital. At the hospital they refused to give them information on Emily. Much to everyone's surprise Hotch told the nurse he was her boyfriend. After confirming with Emily the nurse agreed to get them information._

_Morgan let out a chuckle, "Damn Hotch why don't you do that every time we don't get information?'_

_"Because I'm not dating you," Hotch said before going into Emily's room and pressing a kiss to her forehead leaving everyone, excluding Dave, shocked.  
_

_End Flashback_

Dave had finally reached Aaron's house and got out of the car. He tried to console his drunken friend while he tried to sort out what happened with Emily. Aaron passed out around 6AM, and luckily they had the day off tomorrow. Dave knowing she would be up, headed to the apartment Aaron had said she had got.

Emily didn't look surprised to see him in her doorway and led him to the couch. 

"Is he okay?"

"That's what I was going to ask you. You and I both know you didn't divorce Aaron because you didn't love him, hell I can see you still do, so care to explain why this is happening?"

Emily let out an exasperated sigh before saying, "Dave it's more complicated than if I love him or not."

"Bullshit, if you love them you find a way to make things work."

"Dave you'll find out soon enough that this is for the best." Emily went to stand up from the couch but was hit with a dizzy spell, and started coughing.

After she regained her composure Dave had to ask, "Emily what the hell is going on?"

"I'm dying Dave. I have terminal cardiomyopathy and less than six months to live. I'm trying to spare Aaron and Jack the pain of watching me die."

It all clicked into place for Dave. He knew that all she wanted was to protect them, he saw that with Doyle, and this time she was doing the same in a different way.

"You can't just spend the last six months of your life miserable."

"I won't be, I'm going to resign in two months and then head to Europe. I'll tell everyone that I took the job at Interpol, when in reality I'll be spending my last days with a cocktail on the beach. Aaron will not even know I died."

"But I will. This is a crappy plan and you know it Emily."

Dave was heartbroken. He saw Emily as a daughter and hated seeing her in pain, physically and mentally.

Emily took a deep breath, and with a slight crack in her voice said, "Dave promise me you'll take care of them. Make sure Aaron moves on and focuses on Jack. Make sure that they stay strong, and don't let him get reckless in the field like he did after Haley. It's hard enough as it is, but it would be a lot easier if I knew they would be okay."

Dave knew what she was asking was impossible but he still said, "I will, but only if you promise me two things. You don't pull a Carolyn and you keep in touch with me. I want weekly calls so that I at least know that you're okay."

"I promise."

_February 24th, 2011_

Aaron was barely holding himself together. He was trying to be as strong as he could for Jack, but still some days were hard. Especially know that Emily had put in her two weeks notice. She had been distancing herself from everyone on the team, except for Dave. This angered him, and led him to believe that maybe the affair she had was with him. He needed a reason for the divorce, and he had landed on infidelity. She had one more week before she left for England, and Aaron knew it could very well be the last time he would ever see her. He was struggling with if he should be sadden or glad by that fact. 

Emily was getting worse. Dave could see it, and the rest of the team besides Hotch have been asking if she was feeling okay. The answer was no, but she replied with a smile and an I'm fine every time. The whole team just figured she was overexerting herself and was just taking her divorce harder than expected. Emily was driving home from the latest case when she started to had trouble breathing, and became extremely dizzy. She heard the sound of another car hitting her before it all faded to black.

Aaron had just gotten home and tucked Jack into bed when he had gotten the call.

"Hotchner."

"Hello I'm assuming this is Agent Hotchner, you were listed as Emily Prentiss' emergency contact." 

His heart dropped at that. Despite all of the pain she had caused he still loved her and didn't want to see her hurt. "Yes, this is Agent Hotchner, is Agent Prentiss okay?"

"Well it seems that Miss Prentiss' cardiomyopathy caused her to fall asleep at the wheel meaning that she didn't see the car coming towards her. She is okay just has a slight concussion and needs someone to drive her home."

Aaron was extremely confused. Emily didn't have cardiomyopathy. She couldn't, Aaron knew that was the same thing his father had died from and Emily didn't display any of the symptoms. Or at least he thought so. "Oh yeah I can pick her up, which hospital is she at?" After the nurse gave him the information Aaron called Dave to watch Jack before rushing to the hospital.

Aaron was worried. And mad. And hurt. Why would she keep something so big from him? Aaron knew he wasn't her husband anymore, but he was her unit chief. He should've been alerted of something that could potentially cause a danger in the field. He also couldn't believe himself. He knew the signs, he witnessed them first hand. There was the swelling in the legs, the dizziness, the bloating he saw it all. And yet he didn't see what was right in front of him when it was most important. Something clicked into place with Aaron, and it hurt like hell. She confided in Dave, he was sure of it. Dave was always hovering over her and while he thought they were lovers, he was trying to make sure she kept healthy. Aaron refused to acknowledge the thought in the back of his head. He knew that their was multiple types of cardiomyopathy, ones that allowed her to live. Deep down he knew this wasn't true, otherwise she would've fought like hell to get it gone and treated. And yet she wasn't. He knew there was only one way the stubborn Emily Prentiss would have backed down was if there was nothing to fight. Aaron sped up on the gas trying to rid these thoughts from his head.

"Agent Hotchner, I got a call this evening that one of my agents Emily Prentiss, got a concussion in a car crash I'm here to take her home," he told the nurse at the front desk.

"Ah yes Agent Prentiss. I can take you to her room and I'm sure the doctor would love to talk to you as her caretaker." That made a lump form in his throat. He wasn't her caregiver. Worst part is he didn't even know she needed one. "Here's her doctor, Dr. Thomas. Dr. Thomas this is her emergency contact, Agent Hotchner."

"Hello Mr. Hotchner, it seems that Emily's condition has worsened. I know that her normal cardiologist said she had roughly six months to live two months ago, but at this rate she'll be lucky to make it through March. She can't be overexerting herself like she clearly has. I also recommend she doesn't drive or live by herself. Today could have been very bad, especially after she filled out the Do Not Resuscitate form when she first got diagnosed. If she cannot find someone to stay with her we can find a home health service. Now for the concussion I want you to wake her up every two hours to have her answer these questions on the sheet. If she can't answer them or is experiencing any of these symptoms please bring her in right away. Now please excuse me I have other patients to attend to, and her discharge forms have already been signed."

Aaron was going to throw up. How could this have happened? Her doctor was saying she might not live through the next month, let alone the next four she was supposed to. He couldn't lose her. She was his life. His soulmate, the one person who brought out the sun on a rainy day. What was he supposed to do? She clearly knew, and deliberately hid this from him. He shook his head, and entered her room.

Somehow despite the fact that she had her back to him, he could still tell how beautiful she was even if she was, nope no he can't say that. He can't associate that evil, awful, rotten word with something as beautiful and full of life as her. Still with her back to him she started speaking, "Dave I know that I was stupid and I promised you I would take care of myself but I could've called a cab-" She turned around and was like a deer in the headlights. Her body automatically tensed. "Aaro-Hotch what are you doing here, I thought Dave was picking me up?"

"I'm still your emergency contact." He could see her get mad at herself instantly.

"You didn't have to come, you should be with Jack."

He just sent her a glare and said, "Let's go."

He lasted five minutes in the car before he brought it up. "Were you ever going to tell me?"

"Fuck," she said quietly. He knew. "You know I thought I was pregnant at first. The dizziness with the being bloated. I was so excited. I schedule an appointment, I was so sure I didn't even buy a drugstore test. Then the doctor took my heartbeat. I couldn't tell you he referred me to a cardiologist. I thought it was nothing. And our life was so good, so fucking good that I refused to believe that something could possibly be wrong. Then something was wrong."

Each word she spoke felt like Foyet was stabbing him all over again. He just wanted to wake up from this godforsaken nightmare. Because he didn't know how to actually live in a world without Emily Prentiss. "You still could've told me. Our vows said in sickness and in health I would've been there for you. Even after the divorce. I still love you Em."

Emily now had tears running down her cheeks. He could tell that tonight would end in two heartbroken souls. "Aaron I never stopped loving you. And before you ask why I divorced you honestly the answer is quite simple. You and your son both heard Haley die. There was no way in hell I was going to sit back and let the two of you watch me die."

This made Aaron mad. Yes it would've hurt like hell to watch Emily die, but they could've made the best of it. They could've both quit and spent every day with Jack and each other. But, then Aaron thought of Jack. He was barely 6 and was overexposed to the horrors of the world. He would've lost another female figure he had grown to love and he would have had to watch her wither away. He was already having a hard time handling the divorce. "So what Em? You were just going to quit and spend every day alone waiting to die?"

"Yes."

Aaron slammed on the breaks and turned into a deserted parking lot so he could face her. "That wouldn't have worked. We would've found out eventually."

"Actually it would've. I would be in Europe and everyone would think I was running Interpol. I would slowly lose contact with everyone and then nobody would question it when I stopped responding. It would sting a little but they would move on. They would be okay. _You_ would be okay. You told me how they reacted when they thought I died, what do you think was going to happen when it actually happened? Reid would probably start using again, Derek would blame himself for not seeing the signs, Garcia would stop seeing the light in the world, JJ would be afraid that something like this could happen to Henry, Dave would throw himself either into drinking or work. And we both know what would happen to you _and_ Jack."

"You don't know that will happen."

"Can you promise that it won't?" Aaron's silence filled the car. "Then I can't take that chance."

"I am not letting you do this alone."

"That's not your decision to make."

"Goddammit Emily, I will track you to the end of this Earth if I have to. I will spend every penny I got, I will rope the team into finding you, I will do whatever it takes."

"Do whatever it takes for what? To hold my hand while I'm dying? To put everyone through unnecessary pain? To fucking burry me? You would sacrifice all of that just to put me in the fucking ground Aaron?"

Tears were streaming down both of their faces now. Aaron thought about what she was saying. He knew she was right. This wouldn't just destroy him, it would destroy everybody. But Aaron didn't care. He loved her. And he was not letting her go. "To be there when they put you in the ground, yes I will. I don't care what it takes. Because Emily, I know you are so strong but I can also see the fear in your eyes. You don't want to hurt people I get that. But you don't have to worry about an aftermath you won't get to witness. You need to focus on making yourself happy before you lose that chance. You need to come home. I will pick up the pieces."

He knew he got through to her. He could see the dissolve in her break. "I don't want to die Aaron. I don't want to leave you and Jack, Garcia, JJ, Reid, Morgan, and Rossi this is so fucking unfair. And I am just so fucking tired of all of this," she sobbed into his arms. Aaron felt his broken heart break even more. After ten more minutes of trying to soothe her sobbing she said, "Take me home Aaron, please. To our home." And that's what he did.

_April 6th, 2011_

Emily was right. God, it killed him to use that word. To use was instead of is, did instead of love, loved instead of love. Because that meant she was gone. The women that would forever hold his heart, was currently taking it down six feet with her. He hated doing this. Carrying her coffin with her actually in it this time. He already threw up once, and just thinking about it makes him want to do it again. He told her he would pick up the pieces. How was he supposed to do that when the fragments were too small to see? 

He saw how twitchy Reid was, how angry Morgan was, the sobs coming from Garcia would haunt his nightmares, he could see how tightly JJ was gripping Henry, the stench of alcohol coming off of Dave. What haunted him the most however was the empty void in Jack's eyes. He knew that his son may never be okay again, and it was his fault. God he should have never left them alone. His chest tightened thinking about the phone call he got from Jack two days ago asking why his Emmy wasn't waking up from his nap. If only he checked on Emily before he went to the store maybe he could've spared Jack the horror of finding his step mother dead. He thought of their second wedding. Of how beautiful she looked. Dave walked her down the isle and she looked like the epitome of beauty. God he missed her. It was awful to think it, but a part of him wishes that she never got into that car wreck, that he and everyone else thought she was being a badass Interpol agent. That he never knew what it was like to burry your soulmate.

Emily Hotchner died in her home April 4th, 2011 at 43 years of age. She was found by her stepson Jack Hotchner. He called his father, Aaron Hotchner, who was at the grocery store. His father rushed home and clung to his dead wife's body. His best friend Dave Rossi found him still clutching her sobbing an hour later when he stopped by for lunch. Cause of death was her cardiomyopathy. She lived 5 out of the 6 months her doctor predicated. Her 10 week old baby did not make it. Aaron Hotchner found the pregnancy test in the trash when he was puking after the morgue collected her body. They buried Emily Hotchner on April 6th, 2011. When they buried Reid's sister, Morgan's confidant, Garcia's drinking buddy, JJ's best friend, Rossi's surrogate daughter, Jack's stepmother, and Aaron's wife, all of them knew she was taking pieces of all of them with her. Because when the beat of her heart stopped, theirs did too.


End file.
